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THIS RANT 11/11/98
Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often. |
Over the years, Gusworld has made a number of references to the world of Mr T, the well-known advocate of extreme violence and wearing too much jewellery. Long-time readers will recall our pointless list of T-referring sites, and of course the world-famous Mr T Utterly Untrue And You'd Better Not Believe It Online Fantasy News Campaign.So I was naturally thrilled when I finally obtained a copy of the Mr T comic, Mr T And The T-Force. What's truly bizarre about this comic -- apart from the normal T obsession with the word "fool", staying in school and staying away from drugs -- is that it was published in 1993, well after T-mania was over. Even so, it sustained itself for at least seven issues, with T himself listed as "Star and Creative Director".
Unfortunately, we only have issue 1 to enjoy, but even so, it's pretty funny. Consider this opening dialogue:
IT'S OVER, PUNKS! I'M GONNA RUN YOU AND YOUR DRUGS OUTTA THIS 'HOOD! 'CAUSE MR T IS IN THE HOUSE! I KNOW YOU THUGS ARE JUST RUNNERS . . . HERE TO DELIVER MORE DRUGS -- TO THE KIDS! BUT IT'S OVER! YOU'RE FINISHED! AND YOU BETTER GET OUT!
This breathless style continues over the next 24-odd pages, as Mr T defeats drug runners using a video camera and a healthy dose of biffo, and forces one hoon to take care of a crack baby dropped in a dumpster, only to find himself facing a rather large beast determined to do him in. This provides the cliffhanger, but what's promised for issue 2 is even better:
Issue 2 of MR T AND THE T-FORCE goes into overdrive! Drug lords from Colombia have had it with do-gooders like Mr T and his growing T-Force. T's next battle will lead him into the most devastating and shocking experience of his life, as the full impact of mind-altering messengers of death and disillusion are driven past his every defence! And what of the T-Force's newest recruit? How soon before he's back on the street feeding his brother's addiction? You'll be surprised -- even shocked -- by issue 2 of MR T AND THE T-FORCE. Get it -- if you dare!
The issue also came with a handy collector card, which features this 'T Tip': "Pumping iron is great . . . but don't forget to 'pump books', too!" Yes indeedy. I gotta get myself the other volumes in this set.
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