Gusworld: Are You A Slut?

Are you the sweet-faced choirgirl type who giggles every time a boy walks in the door? Or are you the number one cheerleader - and for more than your pom-poms? Do you have the reputation of being a frigid pricktease? Or are those whisperings in the corridor the sound of five thousand people saying "She - you know, her - goes all the way!"

Wonder no more - now you can find out with our super slut survey! Just print it out and answer the questions. Interactive Web version and scoring system coming any day now!

1. A strange man comes up to you on a train and says he'll give you $50 if you "show him a good time". Do you:

(a) Scream and press the button to call the guard?
(b) Tell him you'd rather have sex with Michael Jackson?
(b) Ask him to show you the money first?
(c) Ask him if he has a Fly Buys card?

2. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

(a) Haven't lost it yet
(b) Under 15
(c) Under 20
(d) Under a football team

3. Would you sleep with a guy on the first date?

(a) I don't go on dates, but sex is OK
(b) Yes, if he was cute
(c) Yes, if he was sober
(d) No, I have to go home afterwards

4. When was the last time you had sex?

(a) I don't believe in sex unless it is within the sanctity of marriage
(b) Last night
(c) Does it count if you haven't finished yet?
(d) How many questions are left, I haven't had sex since I started this stupid quiz?

5. What nickname do your friends use to refer to you?

(a) Debbie
(b) Madonna
(c) The Happy Hooker
(d) Chookie
(e) Starfish
(f) The walking bed

6. Behind your back, do people call you:

(a) Ice queen?
(b) A really lovely person?
(c) A bit common?
(d) Door knob, margarine legs and "old bury me in a Y-shaped coffin"?

7. The sight I see most often when I lie down is:

(a) My bedroom ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stars on the roof
(b) My boyfriend's ceiling
(c) The view out of the back window of most models of Datsun and Toyota made between the years of 1975 and 1983

8. Has a guy ever told you he loved you before AND after sex?

(a) No
(b) Yes
(c) Yes, but my mouth was full
(d) I haven't stopped having sex for long enough to find out

9. What does the phrase "rodeo root" mean to you?

(a) Nothing
(b) It's where a guy calls out someone else's name and yells 'Yippee' as he holds on for the ride
(c) Great - I love farm animals

10. Are your nipples:

(a) pierced?
(b) sore?
(c) expressing milk?
(d) currently being sucked by a team of footballers?

11. I would only have sex after . . .

(a) Many months of going steady
(b) The third date
(c) He buys me a cocktail
(d) The team gets out of the showers

12. The people who know me best are:

(a) My friends
(b) My parents
(c) My boyfriend
(d) Charlene and Karen down at the abortion clinic

13. Complete this sentence: I can wrap my legs . . .

(a) with sticky tape
(b) around my boyfriend
(c) around my boyfriend's football team
(d) around my own neck

14. The last time I had sex I was:

(a) very much in love
(b) looking for love in all the wrong places
(c) lonely
(d) unconscious

15. The last time I had sex:

(a) Bob Hawke was prime minister
(b) was after the year 10 formal
(c) I regretted it later
(d) I didn't get the name of any of the guys

16. The nicest thing a guy has ever said to you is:

(a) I love you
(b) wanna go steady?
(c) wanna root?
(d) wake up
(e) roll over
(f) flush that down the loo will ya?
(g) you're better than your sister
(h) you're better than your brother

17. After a night out, are you in need of:

(a) a good night's rest?
(b) a shower?
(c) a vacuum cleaner?
(d) clothing?
(e) another root?

18. Complete this statement: I would never:

(a) Sleep with a guy I didn't love
(b) Sleep with a guy who had a girlfriend
(c) Sleep with a guy while his mates watched
(d) Sleep with a guy while his dad watched

19. When that Rob Lowe video scandal was made public, I thought:

(a) Thank God it's not me
(b) I would never do a thing like that
(c) Oh well, it's not my face they're going to see

20. I feel most embarrassed when:

(a) Anyone mentions sex
(b) All of the football team get together
(c) I can't remember the guy's name
(d) Taxi drivers recognise me from the back of my head

21. For my birthday, I got:

(a) a pony
(b) a groovy record
(c) a sex toy
(d) laid by the football team

22. At my school, I have shagged:

(a) no-one
(b) my boyfriend
(c) the school captain and vice captain
(d) my English teacher, PE teacher, the football team, the hockey team, the school Captain and vice captain, the bus driver, the whole of Year Ten and the lady who runs the canteen

23. Tick each statement that applies to you.

"Krissy Taylor is my idol."
"People think my name is Lucy coz they all call me loose."
"Sleeping with journalists doesn't count."
"Don't hit him, I'll root youse all."
"Sure, I've suffered from lockjaw."
"I respect myself as an individual."
"I remember all of their names, except that team of footballers from Yass."
"Just don't ask me to stand up."
"It's not like he's my real brother."
"Pub toilets are very romantic."
"Getting your stomach pumped isn't that bad."
"Getting pumped isn't that bad."

MAIL Click here to contact Gus

OOPS! Go back up a level

Return to Gusworld Central