Spanky Speaks
Check out the monkey!Spanky Speaks is the forum of Spanky The Naughty Little Monkey, Gusworld's resident counselling person and all-round supportive individual. If you have any problems of a sensitive, intimate and personal nature which you want exposed in front of a worldwide audience of millions, please send them to Spanky's Virtually Confidential But Totally Unsecured Mailbox. We guarantee a response to every problem!

Dear Spanky, Are all men fucked up down there. i am so tiered of trying you wont believe me. The bloke I have shared my life with for the last fifteen years tells me on average he has fucked around at lest once or twice a week. He justerfied this by telling me it improved are sexlife when Iasked him how this was he imformed me that that was when he would wont to have sex with me. How vile I feel about myself. what to do soiled

Let me get this straight, he has been getting his end away in all the doors in the town for over fifteen years and you only just noticed now? And only because he told you? What the hell have you been doing? Walking around with lettuce on your eyes and cheese cubes in your ears? I advise you to work on getting your shit together my dear. Second, his reason for having a bonkfest is absolutely ludicrous. It could not be any more stupid if he claimed that his dick slipped. He can't get it up unless he puts it about? P'ah! Get rid of the swine is what Spanky says, and go and do a grammar course. Then you'll get yourself a better class of gentleman.

Dear Spanky, Lately, my feelings toward my boyfriend have turned a little, well, mundane. He doesn't excite the same sort of passion he did in the beginning. But I do still love him and wonder if it's just a phase because he's been so overworked and less responsive. Also there's a few rather sexy men from my past that have entered my fantasies lately. I'm just wonder if I'm thinking about them because I'm bored. Do you think being unfaithful is unethical? I wonder if I should be ending the relationship altogether -but then I'm just not ready to do that. Oh gosh - what a good no-strings-attached shag wouldn't do for me. Despondent

Well have a no strings-shag, but if you're not happy in yourself, all the shagging in the world isn't going to fill the void. Try cultivating obsessions in other areas. Develop an obsession with 80s pop music. It did the monkey no end of good.

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