Rant Of The Day THIS RANT ^/02/98

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

Elmo must die!

That little red shit Elmo has gone too far this time. Regular readers are familiar with my ongoing complaints about how Elmo has essentially been responsible for having Grover, the world's greatest Muppet, cast aside. But now the battle has entered a new realm.

Grover fans will remember that our fuzzy blue friend is the star of a Little Golden Book, The Monster At The End Of This Book, which was written in the late 1970s and has been in print ever since. The book is an acknowledged and untouched classic of Grover-related literature, where Grover resists going to the end of the book and encountering the monster, only to find that the monster is himself.

At least, it was untouched until now. For now we have Another Monster At The End Of This Book, starring not just Grover but also (spit!) Elmo. The plot is essentially the same, except that this time, while Grover does not want to reach the end of the book where the monster is, Elmo is determined to do so. When they finally reach the end, each is convinced that the other is the monster in question.

The author's are of course forced to acknowledge Grover's superiority. He receives top billing on the cover, which reads "starring lovable, furry old Grover and equally lovable, furry little Elmo". You wish, you furry red fuckhead.

It's always nice to have a new Little Golden Book with Grover in it, but having Elmo there really spoils it. I look forward to Elmo's next volume, The Machine Gun At The End Of This Book.

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