Gusworld: Rant Of The Day

THIS RANT 06/02/98

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

Getting really stuck into Celine Dion

A quick search through the archives has revealed that, to date, Gusworld has insulted Celine Dion, the singing French stick, at least 20 times. Yet it was only after the most recent attack that I finally managed to enrage a Celine fan enough for them to respond:

You think Celine Dion sucks well then you have extrmily awful hearing! You should probably get yours ears checked !

Having made the point that the author of this epistle should certainly get their spelling checked, I can say that I welcome this kind of mail, because it justifies yet another vitriolic attack on the woman who reminded us that the word "emotive" contains all the letters needed to spell the word "vomit". Here, then, is a partial list of the reasons why I dislike Ms. Dion's work:

She sounds like she's being strangled when she sings
She married a man years and years older than herself
She took a perfectly good 80s shclock ballad, 'The Power Of Love', and managed to have a bigger hit with her overblown 90s take on it
Her Web site at http://www.celineonline.com (and no, I'm not linking it) supports Active Channel technology
She did a duet with Pavarotti
That song 'Tell Him' is an indictable offence
She endorses lyrics that you could make toffee apples from, they're so sickly sweet
She looks like a ferret

Of course, I'm sure that Celine couldn't give a flying fuck about any of the items on this list, considering all the money she's making.

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