Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 30/07/97

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

Wanted: dog-ugly cheerleaders

Because I have no special interest in either sport or sex, it follows that I'm not very likely to be interested in cheerleaders. Nonetheless, the other day I succumbed to a seemingly random urge and purchased an entire box of Pro Cheerleaders Football Edition Collector Cards 1992. How can I explain this aberrant behaviour?

  1. The cards were only $12.95, so it was a good deal.
  2. I thought they'd make a nice decor item for my already crowded house.
  3. They are so tacky, it's unbelievable.

Of these reasons, the last is the most important. But as I flicked randomly through the cards, encountering women with names like Raydeen and Tanilee, I noticed something. Many of these girls were not especially good-looking. Some might have even qualified as 'pigdogs' (to use a charming expression I heard for the first time in ages recently).

From one point of view, this could be seen as reassuring: perhaps American cheerleaders have gotten over their surface obsession with beauty. But take that away, and what's left?

Rather than answering this deep philosophical question, I decided I would search through the cards for the ugliest cheerleader I could find. So far, Kristine Lynn Mauterer, pictured at left, is the winner. But I still have 30 packs to go through, so the results could change at any time. Check back soon for an update.

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