Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 24/03/97

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

Celebrity and how it affects you

I appeared on television last week. I didn't actually realise until Friday, when I went to a press conference and the friendly PR person said "I saw you on television last night". I came back to the office and the art director for the New Weekly said, "I saw you on television last night". And then my grandmother rang me on Sunday and said, "I saw you on television the other day."

Of course, I did have some idea that I was going to appear on television, at some point. Helen Wellings, the consumer affairs reporter (and ex-host) for Seven's Today Tonight, had been in and interviewed me nearly two weeks beforehand, on Thursday March 6th. (Notice how I'm not trying to emphasise the fact that I appeared on a show so inherently dodgy as Today Tonight.) The topic was "shopping on the Internet", and my involvement sprung from an appearance on 2BL to talk about CD buying and the Net a week or two before that. Ms Wellings heard me, thought I might make good "talent" (as they say), and the next thing you know a cameraman spent two hours filming me surfing the Net.

I was filmed browsing for a U2 album (an event that would never happen in real life), and then I answered questions about buying, selling, shopping, and CD addiction. I answered some questions five or ten times, since phones in the office kept ringing at inopportune moments. And then, after we filmed the answers, Helen filmed the questions. I hung around to watch and make sure I wasn't misrepresented; Helen made a half-joking reference to Frontline.

At the end of filming, I was told that the story would probably be on the following Tuesday. I taped it; it wasn't. On Thursday the 13th, Helen called me and said the story would probably be on the next Tuesday. I taped it; it wasn't. By the time I actually appeared, on the 20th, I had given up all hope, and didn't actually get near a TV set to see my own performance until Saturday.

The verdict? Well, I didn't look as ugly as I did during my recent 'wreck' phase, but I sure ain't no oil painting. And, despite careful efforts, I still spoke too fast. But at least I wasn't quoted saying the Net was dangerous, or actually buying a U2 album. (If I get bored later this week, a clip of my appearance may be available on this site.)

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