My Very Own Dannii Adventure

Dannii returned to her dressing room and began removing her makeup with practised skill. It was as she was liberally applying cold cream touching up her eye makeup repencilling her eyebrows piercing her nipple with a saftey pin douching slipping into a nice Osti frock that she became aware of a strange noise. What was that screaming crashing sound jingling sound hideous cry from the bowels of Hell itself TARDIS-like materialisation noise strangely arousing sound coming from the corridor?

"Danger threatens," she said to herself. "I must transform myself into Mighty Morphin' Dannii Minogue." Using her secret mystical powers and reciting the magic words 'This Is It' under her breath, she span around in circles and transformed herself into the vinyl-clad super-heroine.

In one swift movement, she left the room and ducked into the corridor ran into the corridor entered the other room sprang into action struck an appropriate superhero pose moved to Oslo . A young hoodlum with a punk haircut was climbing up a ladder sneaking out the back entrance hailing a taxi shambling grotesquely across the room smiling in an evil fashion repeatedly fondling a model of Dannii's cleavage and taking the proceeds of that evening's show. Dannii recognised the villain as Swifty Shanks Reckless Roger Dopey Derek Aimless Anita Betty The Burglar Peter Reith , a well-known thief villain crook lesbian IT journalist lingerie model who'd robbed many concerts in the area. She instantly sprang into action.

Slam! Crunch! Bang! Kapow! Thunk! Dongle! Her double-jointed stiletto frenzy merciless attack killer right hook high-kicking savagery brutal fists vacuum cleaner , developed during the recording of her first album a Home And Away casting session a very long wet Sunday months in a bondage club the recording of her latest video 1978 , soon saw the blood flowing freely its inevitable conclusion a slow descent into agonising pain everyone in the room die a guaranteed prize on a TV home video show internal organs splayed about like water . Pausing only to check her heels grab the money pat a passing dog pick her nose jiggle her tits seductively order some Amway products , Dannii restored the tin of takings to its rightful place.

The security guard concert promoter innocent bystander bartender third guy from the left in Showboat mysterious alien presence blinked in amazement. What had happened? Little did he know that Mighty Morphin' Dannii Minogue had saved the streets from crime once more.

Back in her dressing room, Dannii sighed contentedly. "Another Success!" she said to herself, as she continued removing her makeup.