Media Release
Sydney, 17th May, 1999 -- Bill Gates, chairman and CEO of Microsoft, responded yesterday to rumours that he was horny.
"I'm horny, horny horny horny," said Gates, speaking at the annual N+I conference. "So horny, I'm horny, horny horny horny. I'm horny, horny horny horny. So horny, I'm horny horny horny tonight."
Steve Ballmer, Microsoft president, said that this was typical of Gates' up-front approach to his needs. "Once, Bill came up to me and said 'I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want.' And I said 'So tell me what you want, what you really really want.' And he said 'I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, really really really wanna zig-a-zig-ah.' So we added the zig-a-zig-ah feature to SQL Server, and customers really love it."
Ballmer would not confirm or deny rumours Gates sings backup vocals on Ricky Martin's 'Living La Vida Loca'.
Gates confirmed, however, that he planned to deal with his horniness by consulting with N+I attendees. "Boom boom boom, let's go back to my room, so we can do it all night, and you can make me feel right, oh oh oh," he said to Larry Ellison's mother.
A Microsoft spokesperson emphasised that it was patently obvious that the two executives were "clearly pissed off their nuts" and asked delegates to disregard their comments.
"He drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink, he sings the songs that remind him of the good times, he sings the songs that remind him of the better times," the spokesperson added. "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you ain't ever gonna keep me down."
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