Chapter 39: Freeze Frame

Author: Jennifer Keaton
Date: 3rd April 1998

Erica watched in disgust as Mikka and Anttilanien pawed each other in the manner in which the men who write into Penthouse Forum believe sex is conducted. She was never into public displays of attention at the best of times, and since she despised Anttilanien even more than she hated the cast of Home Improvement, it was even more repulsive.

It was also very odd, given that Mikka was a lesbian.

And yet . . . as she watched Anttilanien sucking each of Mikka's toes, she found herself thinking about Renny . . . Renny Harlin, naked in the spa.

"Dan Ackroyd in Speedos, Dan Akroyd in Speedos," she chanted mantra-like under her breath.

Looking at the wall of the sauna as a means to not see Anttilanien lick Mikka's thing that's just below the throat where the collar bones meet, Erica noticed that the wooden wall had rotted away from the snow and there was a hole big enough to slip out of.

Erica and Renny made their escape and headed towards a snow plow that was conveniently parked down the road and had the keys in.

"So, are you still seeing your assistant that you dumped Geena for?" Erica asked as a way of making conversation as they climbed in and Renny started up the engine.

"No, that didn't work out," he said moving closer.

"We should get to a PC and find out what's on the disc" Erica said changing the subject.

"Yes, we probably should," said Renny as he kissed her softly.


Rex Carter sat in the editing suite deep in the bowels of Channel 9. He was feeling pretty happy about life.

Since he was kidnapped by the insane lesbian Mikka and left for dead tied up on the side of the road somewhere outside of Byron Bay, his discovery had made front page news all over Australia. He'd even managed to pull enough strings so the stories did not refer to his pants soiling incident, and Rex was a star.

As result of his daring adventures, and the fact that his agent had sent in enough nominations, he was a contender for a Gold Logie. Even better, he'd sold his story to Woman's Day and had been promoted from his 4 am news hosting gig to senior reporter on A Current Affair.

In fact, Rex was overseeing the editing of his first story, a shocking look at wharf workers who took 5 minutes too long on their morning tea break. He was mulling over the best take of his introduction, shot at the docks.

Just as he was trying to decide whether four serious nods was too much, something in the background caught his eye.

It was a ship. The Finnish supply ship The Anthony Michael Hall, but something wasn't quite right.

He rewound the tape and watched it again. What? What was wrong.

He rewound the tape again.

Then it hit. Rewinding the tape a third time he noticed the workers were carrying boxes on. Several more rewinds revealed they were carrying on boxes of Floral Stationary.

"That's odd," thought Rex. "Finland is the world's biggest paper and pulp exporter, why would they be importing it?"

Furthermore, the mark from the water was very high, suggesting that whatever the ship had brought to Australia was very heavy.

"I think I need to investigate this further," said Rex aloud, standing up.


"Okay," said Erica, trying to compose herself after the most mind blowing sex she'd ever had, including the time her and Bubba had done it in the Big Banana at Coffs Harbour.

"Let's get ourselves to a PC."

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