Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 17/02/99

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

Two of hard-ons

I never said I wasn't gonna tell nobody . . . Those words, and a pounding synth bass beat, introduced a previously indifferent world to the talents of Stacey Q back in 1986. A former elephant trainer (or so her publicity claimed), Ms Q jumped on the dance-pop bandwagon in the traditionally accepted manner: she teamed up with a producer/svengali (in this case, a guy called Jon St James), recorded a heap of breathy pop songs, made some visually striking videos and waited for the cash to pour in. Which it did, for the duration of at least two singles.

Stacey's first single, 'Two Of Hearts', was a predictably large hit, awash with kooky vocal effects and brain-strain-free lyrics. She followed it in quick succession with a self-titled album and a second single, 'We Connect', which didn't differ too markedly from the first, except that it had the memorable line "I explode when we connect in it". And that, more or less, was that.

Stacey did record a second album, the improbably titled Hard Machine, which was received with universal indifference. I'd not heard hide nor hair of her since, apart from seeing the odd dodgy European compilation (usually entitled Two Of Hearts) kicking around the C-grade import bins.

However, it turns out that Ms Q hasn't returned entirely to elephant training. She recently popped up in, of all places, a compilation album of songs recorded by porn stars and cunningly entitled Porn To Rock. Our Stace adds additional vocals to a track called 'Little Red Riding Hood' by Geoffrey Karen Dior (just don't ask). I haven't heard it yet, but curiosity may force me to order the album yet. "What will come as a surprise to many is how good these songs are," reads the publicity for the album. Hmmm.

I can't help thinking that former 80s pop stars getting involved with porn stars could lead to some unpleasant incidents, permanently captured on video, in the near future. And does anybody really want to see Taco naked?

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