GUSWORLD
Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 09/12/98

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

Too young to date

Occasionally, a song which you've never heard before just grabs you. Not necessarily because it's the greatest composition ever, or a stunning performance. Such is the case with 'Too Young To Date' by D-Day, a track I'd never encountered before I recently acquired my copy of Volume 1 of Just Can't Get Enough: New Wave Hits Of The 80s.

According to the sleeve notes, D-Day originated from Texas, and the song in question is an "unabashedly silly slice of charismatic power pop". A cursory online search hasn't revealed much more about the group, unfortunately.

Like many of the other obscurities nestled on this 15-disc collection, it's the insanely dumb lyrics married with the garage band sound that make it so appealing. I can't convey the aural qualities (buy the CD, it's pretty cool) but I can at least transcribe the lyrics:

It's hard to ignore the boy next door
He's such a dream, but I'm only fourteen
He asked me out to the picture show
My eyes said yes
But my mom said no -- no way
He's got a car, and we might go far
But he took off my training bra
And it got back to my ma
Now I'm in big trouble, gotta stay at home
And the folks ripped out the telephone

Too young to date
I really need it but I'm too young to date
I gotta have it cause I can't hardly wait
I really need it but I'm too young to date
Maybe someday we'll go steady
In a year or two I might be ready

Got an older guy and his name is Michael
He just told me about my menstrual cycle
Said the blood on his fingers wasn't from a cut
Maybe someday I'll be a teenage slut
Says he doesn't really want to marry
He just wants to pop my cherry -- ow!

Too young to date . . .

You know I'll get it in the end!

Crude? Yes. Dumb? Sure. Fun? Undeniably.


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