Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 01/07/98

The Hills are alive with the sound of Keanu

Today's guest ranter is Spanky The Naughty Little Monkey.

At around 5:30 yesterday afternoon, a friend of Spanky's, who we will identify as Beppi, rang to say that Dogstar, a band that is pretty much famous only because the bass player is Keanu Reeves, was playing the Castle Hill RSL and that if she wanted to, Spanky could get her name on the door. Since the Monkey has dedicated her life to shameless freeloading and since the idea of seeing a famous actor's indulgent vanity project at the club where she used attend Jazz Ballet classes is somewhat appealing, the Monkey agreed.

The two phrases that sum up the evening were: "surreal" and "pretty dull band".

To cover the first phrase first. There is something very strange about sitting in an auditorium (yes, it even had cabaret-style seating) in an RSL club, with that nice 70s wood panelling and RSL carpeting, with a bunch of badly dressed people with fountain fringes waiting to see the guy from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure play in his band.

There is also something strange about eating bad caramel slice in the club's café and seeing the guy from Point Break wander on pass. Playing Castle Hill RSL has all the street cred of being written up in your local church newsletter.

The evening raised a number of questions. Firstly, why the fuck out of all the venues in Sydney did Dogstar play the Metro and Castle Hill RSL? Did Keanu eat at the Bistro? Did he have a prawn cocktail and a chicken schnitzel? How come he was allowed to wear his beanie in the club when most RSLs have a strict 'no hat' policy?

As for the band itself: The Monkey stayed for about half the set as the band was neither good nor bad enough to be interesting and they sounded like Diet Buffalo Tom -- all the sounds you've come to expect from the band with only a quarter of the flavour.

It must be pretty soul-destroying for the rest of the band to play with knowledge that 98% of your audience is only there because they want to fuck your bass player, who just happens to be the star of Speed, and that most of them couldn't name a Dogstar song even if you had one called "We are the band Dogstar and this is our song."

Still, the other side of the coin is that without the actor from Chain Reaction in the band, there is no way in the world they would have generated half as much interest and at least they got to see the luxuriously appointed Castle Hill RSL.

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

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