Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 03/04/98

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

My God, they really eat it

Longtime Gusworld readers will recall that one of the more classic rants of 1996 involved my foolish attempts to receive a nutritious meal at the Woolworths Town Hall Cafe in Sydney. Since that fatal day, I have avoided the cafe part of the building entirely.

I haven't, however, avoided the Woolworths Town Hall store, since they have the best range of cheap confectionary in the CBD, lots of tacky videos and CDs and an unsurpassed range of tasteless ties. And since the store was done up and renamed Woolworths Metro late last year, the staff are even a bit less ugly.

Nonetheless, the store remains a mecca for Sydney's confused and/or elderly, and I was reminded this week of just how gullible these human parsnips are. Standing in a queue where I was purchasing yet another pile of blank video tapes, my ears were assailed by the non-dulcet tones of the store announcer.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is of course morning tea time, and let me remind you of our Town Hall Cafe special deal. For just $3.00, you can have a bread and butter pudding and a pot of tea. Yes, that's right, a bread and butter pudding and a pot of tea for just $3.00 in the Town Hall Cafe on the second floor."

This thought in itself was enough to bring the bile a-rising and a smile to my lips. But I wasn't prepared for the reaction of the wrinkly couple in the queue in front of me. "Ooh, that sounds nice dear," said the woman. And then, to the checkout operator: "What floor did they say that cafe was on?" I kept a straight face only with the greatest of effort.

If previous experience is anything to go by, the bread and butter pudding would have been a site to behold. Still, at that age I guess the taste buds are well and truly shot.

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