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Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 21/01/98

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

Kerri-Anne earns spiritual rewards

A Gusworld NOT-TRUE-NEWS story

Kerri-Anne Kennerley narrows her cat's green eyes. The popular Nine Network's Midday (weekdays 12.00 to 1:30) host's hands are clasped on the table in front of her. She has taken the first step in a spiritual awakening.

"I'm focusing all my concentration, all my energy, on the front of my eyes," she says, as she practises a form of self-hypnosis learned from a Midday guest.

That's right. The undisputed queen of Australian daytime variety television fantasises about sex as part of her New Year's resolution to improve her life by exploring spirituality.

Her determination to change and improve is part of the new Kerri-Anne. Long seen as a hard core party girl -- and she admits to liking a party or two with a penchant for parties of three -- Kerri-Anne woke up the detrimental effect this lifestyle was having on her life and on her skin and decided to get spiritual. The newly revitalised Kerri-Anne started this self-improvement journey several months ago, during Gusworld's challenge to undergo a soul trade-in.

"I so thoroughly enjoyed that challenge that I started thinking about other changes I might be able to make to my lifestyle," explains the effervescent Kerri-Anne, 44, over a revitalising breakfast of seaweed, wheatgrass juice, Imedeen and chocolate croissants.

From there it was only a short jump to a thought she had during a Midday interview with Sydney hypnotherapy guru Dr Ian Chung, who uses a variety of spiritual techniques to help people gain insight into their professional and personal lives.

"I remember thinking in the middle of the interview, 'What a spunky guy!' Then I thought 'Oh stop it you old silly as if he's interested in you.' Then I began listening and it occurred to me that if Ian turned me down for dinner, offering to learn his technique would be a great way to spend more time with him," Kerri-Anne explained. "You know, some private tuition," she adds with a jaunty twinkle in her sea green eye.

Over the course of forty one-on-one training sessions, Dr Chung explained to Kerri-Anne that in most cases self-hypnosis is really just another term for deep relaxation or meditation and, once mastered, the technique can be used on other people.

The tricky part, Kerri-Anne says, is mastering the technique.

"Honestly, it's not easy," she declares with a cheeky grin. "Have you ever tried to focus both your eyes at the same time? It ain't as easy as it looks, particularly if you've had an eyelift. I had to get Ian to show me."

Now, as many as 10 times a day, Kerri-Anne practises her newfound skill, with magical results including a revitalised love life she coyly declines to expand upon.

"I am a very private person, you know!," she laughs.

And apparently others share her secret.

"I once met world renowned designer Sally Browne at an envelope opening and she was using a very similar technique, says Kerri-Anne. "I remember her focusing her eyes and within a matter of seconds the waiter -- a real stud muffin -- was by her side and she took him back to her place him 10 minutes later!"

Kerri-Anne is hoping the hypnotism may even have professional benefits. While the imperturbable Kerri-Anne always performs with grace under fire, even in the chaotic maelstrom of daily television production, she would still like to improve.

"Almost from the moment I get in, there is a constant line of people wanting to get through my door, delivering flowers, wanting my approval," she says. "Sometimes I feel like I'm running a fish-and-chip shop -- take a number and join the queue. Sometimes I tell people to rack off."

By focusing her jade green eyes and hypnotising others in her workplace, Kerri-Anne believes she can achieve her professional aims with an unprecedented ease and reach Jana Wendt levels of credibility. And we're sure she can too!


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