Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 18/02/97

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

Great stupid statements by the Spice Girls

When UK pop "sensations" the Spice Girls recently proclaimed their admiration for Margaret Thatcher, the whole thing got a bit out of proportion. "Serious" newspapers ran "analysis" articles on the whole debacle, with several "analysts" reflecting that the statement could adversely affect the "chances" of a Labour government finally gaining power in this year's UK elections (an eventuality we only thought matched by the likelihood of John Howard doing something "stupid" every week for the rest of his life).

While we imagine some of the articles were spurred by the writers' inability to get the insanely catchy 'Wannabe' out of their heads, we're disappointed at the depths of research involved. A cursory glance around the official Spice Girls site reveals that, under the hints and tips section, there are much dumber statements on offer. Take, for instance, the handy 'Girl Power' tips from the site. We have a few comments on these:

If you're going to kiss a boy, make sure you're wearing stay-on lipstick! Why? So it can stay on him? Isn't this a teensy bit thoughtless?
Drink whatever you like - just so long as it co-ordinates with your nail varnish! We predict a huge upsurge in Coke-coloured nail varnish.
Listen to and trust your Mum's advice. At the end of the day she's your best friend! When she finds you in bed with a mountain goat first thing in the morning, though, it may be a different story.
Do exactly what you wanna do and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Except, of course, when following these rules.
Personality is like a muscle...use it a lot and it grows and improves! Stupidity, though, is a little more constant, and demonstrating it may not extend it.
Beauty doesn't last. Rely on it and you become a cabbage from within! Becoming a cabbage from without is even more of a challenge.
Tell him/her you fancy them, you've got nothing to lose! Except your dignity/self-respect/virginity (delete as applicable).
Don't do anything just to be in a gang or because you think you're hard! Men may, if they wish, have sex if (a) they think they are hard and (b) they have a consenting partner.

Incidentally, we're fascinated to note that someone got in ahead of Virgin Records and registered all for themselves. As an added twist, they're selling email addresses of the form to interested parties. Now that's Thatcherite economics in action: never mind the copyright, feel the cash flow!

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