GUSWORLD
Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 05/02/97

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

Gusworld's hot tips for 1997

Mode's list of what's hot for 1997 includes such handy tips as "brown is the new black" and "email is out; handwritten letters are in". They might sound like pretty dumb suggestions, but I know I can do better, even in February. Here's Gusworld's illustrated guide to what will be hot in 1997, the year of Mode getting it wrong (hell, maybe that was more than one year . . . )

WHAT'S HOT

Blue is back in a big way, but the only really cool way to wear it will be in a Mentos backpack. Yes, the Freshmaker is in; in fact it was never out. Best to bone up on Mentos trivia now. (Editor's note: Photo posed by model. This link goes outside this site. If you hadn't worked that out, you're not ready for the Web yet.)

Cows are big: in fabrics, on toilet seat covers, and as pets. This may present a problem for apartment dwellers, although a Japanese technology company is working on a bonsai cow. A cow will also become Federal Education Minister. Ooh look, that prediction's already come true! (Editor's note: yes, we really hate Amanda Vanstone. And this cow is rubber and was not harmed during this shoot.)

WHAT'S NOT SO HOT

A bunch of idiots living in a fashionable suburb will try and convince you that this is the fabric pattern for 1997. Don't believe them; if you thought orange and lime could look bad, you ain't seen nothing yet. (Editor's note: this is not a Bachman-Turner-Overdrive reference.)

Although blue is, as we mentioned, in, doing Elton John impersonations is not. Pool cues are also out, unless you can improvise quick limbo contests with them. (Editor's note: shot posed by model in no way involved with this story. This is a paid announcement.)

Want more tips on what's in and out this year? Well, you'll just have to wait, won't you?


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