Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 29/10/96

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

Direct from Graceland, or perhaps not

Like their dead idol, Elvis Presley fans are not renowned for their good taste or restraint. For many years, my local greasy takeaway shop had for sale an $80 portrait of the King, complete with a clock located somewhere in the vicinity of his crotch. It didn't sell for ages, but I'm sure that more than one person eyed it fondly as they queued for the exceptionally cheap chips.

Not perhaps quite as unique, but certainly more expensive, is this latest offering from Franklin Mint, purveyors of tasteless overpriced crap to the masses, as advertised on the back cover of this week's New Weekly. "Own an original work of art from Graceland!" the ad proclaims. Viewing this piece, you shouldn't be surprised that it wasn't actually done until after Elvis' final cheeseburger gorge. The ad describes it as "a portrait so timeless, it is actually showcased in Graceland's permanent collection", but doesn't explain what sum of money changed hands as part of this process.

The portrait (by "world-renowned artist" Nate Giorgio) is available in a limited edition of 950. Well, actually it is available in several limited editions of 950. For each new limited edition, they change the marque, or the frame colour, or the size of Elvis' crotch, or something. So you'd better order quickly if you want to have one on every wall of the house and make sure they all match. Personally, I think I'd rather join Elvis wherever he is than pay $300 for this, but then, what would I know?

MAILClick here to contact Gus

HORGo back up a level

GUSWORLDReturn to Gusworld Central