THIS RANT 18/07/96
Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.
Really dumb reasons why pizzas are better than women
Yesterday, I was lunching with my colleagues on APC and, because we were eating pizza, we started mentally assembling one of those stupid, sexist, comparative lists. You know the sort of thing: 'Why Cucumbers Are Better Than Men', 'Why A Beer Is Better Than A Woman', 'Why Writing Sexist Lists Is Better Than Using Your Brain Productively'. Our contribution to the genre was 'Why Pizzas Are Better Than Women', and here it is. (Needless to say, the contributors, whose anonymity I will respect until they tell me otherwise, were all male).
- You can get pizza delivered to your door without the neighbours getting scandalised.
- Pizza comes with garlic bread.
- Pizza never gets a headache, and you can have it every day.
- Pizza doesn't complain when you eat other food.
- It's not embarrassing to have pizza billed to your credit card.
- Women don't like it when you cover them with cheese and tomato sauce and then eat them. Not many women, anyway.
- You can get two pizzas for less than twenty bucks.
- You can make up offensive lists about pizza and it won't complain.
Gusworld apologises for this pointless diversion.
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