Rant Of The Day
Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

THIS RANT 27/06/2001

Hair was a dog

Yesterday, in a mildly unexpected development, the forthcoming arena production of the musical Hair was cancelled, denying everyone the chance to see B-level stars such as Christine Anu, Jon Stevens, and that chick with glasses from Bardot sing hippie tunes like 'Let The Sunshine In' and flash the occasional bit of bare flesh. The Sydney Morning Herald hypothesised that this was because the 1960's classic was now officialy "over the hill".

I did in fact have tickets to see Hair, so I'm a bit cheesed off that the show's been canned, but I don't think the papers have got it right here; after all, Grease, which trades even more blatantly in nostalgia, is still on sale. The reason why people rejected Hair was twofold: there wasn't enough nudity, and the people who were appearing weren't, to be honest, at the top of anyone's list of Celebrities Who They Wanted To See Starkers.

In every interview I saw promoting the show, the stars would get asked if the prospect of nudity bothered them. And in every case, they'd point out that the period of time in which they would get nekkid on stage was only a minute or so; nothing to get too concerned about.

This is not what the Australian public wants to hear. As the success of Big Brother Uncut proves, people want to see lots and lots of nudity. Even if they're in row ZZ and it's a cold night, they want to be able to claim to have seen some celebrity tackle, and the odd pair of musical melons.

That said, it should also be clear that there weren't too many people in the cast of Hair who either Ralph or NW will be approaching for a raunchy cover shoot any time soon. Jon Stevens spends most of his time these days pretending to be Michael Hutchence, and we know what happened the last time he got naked. Bardot already tried to boost their prospects with an FHM cover shoot, and that didn't work. And I don't even want to talk about Dave Gleeson.

Had Harry M Miller hired a cast which featured Dannii Minogue, Daniel McPherson and perhaps Shannon Doherty, and promised more naked flesh than ever before, I reckon he'd have sold out. But he didn't. Them's the breaks.

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