GUSWORLD


Mr T: It's a current affair

Just when it seemed the Mr T- Secret Service debate was dying down, the Secret Service has received a staggering blow with Ray Martin coming out in support of them.

Until today it seemed that Mr T's reputation was in tatters; his mother had been spied snogging Bindy 'Bindy' Paxton. However, experts suggest that Ray Martin's support is not something that the Secret Service can easily overcome.

"You could hear their reputation plummet as he spoke," said reputation expert Roger Hammerstein. "They may have been able to shrug off the support of Sylvester Stallone and Goldie Hawn, but this could be too much to ignore."

Speaking on his high rating show A Current Affair, Ray Martin nodded his head and sucked air through his teeth a total of eight times during his speech in the defence of the Secret Service.

"We want to know why our tax dollars are supporting a woman who would snog the mother of an 80s has-been," Ray said, adding, though we're not sure why, that the Secret Service were 'Aussie battlers'. More to the point, Martin seemed ignorant of the fact that the Paxton girl was not on the dole, largely through Martin's efforts to have her removed.

Martin added that he had given Angry Anderson 24 hours to get to America and whip that "Asian drug dealer and smuggler of native Australian marsupials" Mr T's butt.

Stewart Littlemore highlighted a number of mistakes in Martin's claims on his not-very-high-rating show Media Watch. "Mr T is not Asian, is a staunch anti-drugs campaigner and it has never been proved that he has smuggled marsupials, native Australian, or otherwise," he said sardonically, with a smugly-raised eyebrow. A spokesperson for Channel Nine said that Martin is "clearly fucked in the head" and at the moment, the star is "resting".


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