GUSWORLD


Fitting to a Mr T

"Fool," exclaims Mr T pacing back and forth across the room. The famous gold chains jangle, indicating his agitation. He's referring of course to Sylvester Stallone's recent outbursts condemning the former A-Team star's criticisms of the Secret Service.

"Stallone is the Secret Service's fool. Everybody knows that I wear the chains to represent the oppression of the African-American people and gold to symbolise my rags-to-riches tale."

Mr T is also critical of Stallone's claim that he is a wimp, because Stallone beat him in Rocky III. "That was a movie, fool!" he exclaimed. "If we weren't acting I'd whip his white little ass. Name one white guy who has ever beat a black guy outside the movies."

He punches his fist into his hand and suggests Stallone is a filthy pervert. "While he was out making pornos and fucking Brigitte Nielsen I was teaching the nation's children how to read."

A one-time star on the A-Team, Boy George, has come out in defence of the star. "I'd definitely prefer Mr T to Stallone, he can whip my arse any day," George said, in a tone of voice we're not sure is entirely appropriate.


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