The Mormon Prophet

The Mormon Prophet can provide the guidance that is missing from your day-to-day life, with his searing visions of the future. For ethical reasons, his identity remains a secret, as does his participation in the Internet Explorer beta program.

Sometime in the near future, you may feel the need to use a vibrator. If you do, be sure to wrap it in a sock, as the weather has been very cold lately, and you might catch your death. The Mormon Prophet recommends a football sock for this purpose.

Sometime in the future, it will rain.

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