The Mormon Prophet

The Mormon Prophet can provide the guidance that is missing from your day-to-day life, with his searing visions of the future. For ethical reasons, his real identity cannot be revealed, and donations of less than $1,000 (non-deductible) cannot be accepted.

TODAY'S PROPHECY: This weekend would be a good weekend to go sailing, but I bear no responsibility for those who are lost at sea without lifejackets. You should take Mars Bars as a suitable snack, because:

  1. They don't get ruined if they get wet;
  2. You can work, rest and play with them. I advise resting and playing, while easing up on the working.

Sometime in the future, it will rain.

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