Minogue Watch

What are Kylie and Dannii up to this week? There is no logical reason why anyone much should care, but despite that, the Minogue girls get more than their fair share of media coverage. Here's where we'll keep you up with the latest.

October 13: The Kylie/Dannii race for fame remains tight. New Weekly describes Kylie as 'Loser Of The Week' because of her recent poor showing in the UK charts, while Dannii can only squeeze into Who by talking about her time on Young Talent Time. Woman's Day fits both women into a single article under the heading 'Dannii's my RIVAL', although what Kylie says is actually the exact opposite.

October 6: Kylie strikes back! Merely by turning up to open a Tower Records store in London, Kylie gets her picture in all four of the major magazines, thereby demonstrating that Dannii's dominance last week may have been a mere fluke. To add insult to injury, Who's review of Dannii's Girl album refers to her as the "other" Minogue and awards the record a D. A week is a long time in showbusiness.

September 29: It's a virtual Dannii-athon! Woman's Day kicks in with a shot of Dannii in a floral swimsuit, while New Idea rakes over the coals of her affair with Julian one more time in a feature on celebrity break-ups. Who has the only Kylie references, discussing the delay in the release of her album and the title change from Impossible Princess post Di decease and ranking her #10 in the annual 'Worst Dressed' list. Who ever thought the day would come when Dannii got better PR than Kyles?

September 22: Kylie makes a brief appearance in Woman's Day's 'Famous Faces' section, shaking her maracas (and we don't mean her jugs, by the way). And Dannii pops up in the 'Hot Gossip' section of the same mag, with the charming caption: "This is the first time in ages we've seen Dannii Minogue alone in the back seat of a car". Not to be outdone, Kylie pops up again on the next page of the same section, being attacked for having red hair. But since Dannii's most recent single debuted in the UK at #5, while Kylie could only manage #22 first time out, we suspect the battle is far from over.

September 1: The Dannii plastic surgery story is really getting old. It was in Woman's Day six months ago, New Idea a fortnight or so back and now it makes the cover of Who. New singles from both the girls are keeping them generally visible throughout the media; but this is actually the only Mingoue reference across all four titles this week.

August 11: Kylie manages to get two separate photos in Woman's Day, but neither is especially charitable. One features the caption "Kylie's knicker elastic has just snapped", while the other shows her seated in the lap of a "mystery man". Over at New Idea, the cover line 'FOR SALE! INSIDE Dannii's Aussie pad' means four pics of Dannii's place, which she's flogging off (makes sense, she's hardly ever around anyway). However, Kylie also muscles her way in on this story, with the revelation that she's worth $15 million.

July 14: Woman's Day maintains its commitment to the cause that is Dannii. There's a pointless photo of her, but the real meat is in an interview with her ex-husband, Julian McMahon (who must have some kind of contract with Day that guarantees him a cover every three months). Asked if he will ever get back with Dannii, he replies: "I never say never. But in answer to your question, I don't think about it." Watch out, girl; the hair bear is back!

June 23: Each Minogue girl manages to make a single pictorial appearance in the trashies this week. Woman's Day tries to cover up the fact that its blurred Dannii shot was taken by a telephoto lens on the other side of the continent by captioning it "Dannii catches her reflection in the shop window on the way to the hairdresser." New Weekly, meanwhile, features a pic of Kylie imbibing alcohol at London club Browns, although oddly enough she doesn't get mentioned in the article, even as a celebrity hanger-on.

June 23: Despite the fact that there was some real Dannii and Kylie news on the musical front last week, there's only a single mention of either of them in all four of our mags this week, and that comes from the reader letters page in Who. Three readers write in to defend the inclusion of Kyles in the Who '25 Most Beautiful People' list, with one writing of the older Minogue: "Minogue's true beauty is her strength and determination to continue on, believe in herself and follow her dreams." Wonder if she dreamt her last album would be a flop?