General Observations On Trashy Publications

For the week beginning October 13, 1997

New Idea has the crappiest lead story we've seen in an age: 'Cheeky Winona upsets Melanie' means that friends claim that Winona Ryder's impersonation of Melanie Griffith talking to her pet dog has upset Melanie, who thinks pets deserve respect. If you're going to make up a story, at least it could be a good one, we think. New Idea also takes a risk by putting the wedding of an AFL star on the front cover.

Who consumes dozens of pages by reuniting the Young Talent Team, a great idea except that all the best-known stars, predictably, didn't make it in. No Dannii, no Tina, not even a Joey Perrone. The late 80s hairdos are fun, nonetheless.

Dodgiest cover line of the week goes to Woman's Day, whose 'Kylie reveals: My SECRET love dungeon!' is about how Kylie denies having any such dungeon (and you would, wouldn't you?) Charles and Harry are the main cover image, a rare instance of a leading man for ver Day.

Everyone is still treading cautiously papparazzi-wise, and as a result there are few stories in common across the four titles, although the tendency to PR-generated fluff continues unabated. In this context, we must note the rather strange quiz which Woman's Day administered to Larry Emdur, Mike Hammond and Rob Elliot. The magazine asked 21 questions about strange household terms (sample: "Where would you find dariole moulds?"), but stopped short of actually totalling up the scores for each of the quizmeisters. We have no such qualms, and can reveal that Larry scored a pathetic 1, Rob a barely-there 7 and Mike a just-respectable 11.

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