October 20: In a generally weak batch, the prize must go to this: "Wonderbra model Caprice Bourret shows off a tan as deep as your average barbecued sausage, a belly button ring that cost $1 million (and no doubt worth every penny) and a very silly outfit."
October 13: Amidst useful snipes at anorexic models, the prize goes to an attack on (who else?) Tori Spelling, who "learns a fashion lesson the hard way -- strapless dresses and silicon are an unfortunate combination".
September 29: Maria Venuti is back! But the nastiest comment is about Iman, who appears wearing a seriously over-the-top gown: "Iman enjoyed the party for the launch of Oscar de la Renta's new fragrance despite later being treated for a nasty tulle rash."
September 22: It's insult-a-rama here, with Kylie, Kimberley and Gwyneth all copping a serve, but our favourite was this: "Why she's bothering is a mystery but isn't Courtney Love starting to look more and more like Kirstie Alley?" What's really interesting is that the section has been renamed 'Hot Shots With Attitude', the word 'paparazzi' now being banned in all first world countries.
September 1: Despite some interesting experiments with alliteration on a picture of Di, the nastiest comment accompanies a shot of the Baldwin clan avec mama: "Kim Basinger, hubby Alec Baldwin and the little-known oldest Baldwin brother Barry, who has enjoyed women's clothing since the early '70s . . . of course it could be Alec's mum, Carol, but we doubt it."
August 11: Yes, Maria Venuti is still hanging around, but top venom count goes to this caption on a picture of a hirsute Sinead O'Connor: "Now we know why Sinead O'Connor shaved her head . . . it made her look interesting."
July 14: New Weekly is the only magazine that regularly features pictures of Maria Venuti, which can't be such a bad thing. But the nastiest comment this week is attached to a picture of Naomi Campbell pointing a gun: "Naomi Campbell has been using increasingly desperate ploys to get readers to buy her new book, I Could Have Been A Brain Surgeon . . ."
July 7: Picking on Boy George for being fat is a trifle obvious, so we'll award the gong to a picture of Chelsea Clinton looking like a crazed horse and thoughtfully captioned: "Chelsea Clinton who, unlike her father, obviously enjoys a good inhale."
June 30: Bitchy snipes at Kate Moss and Maria Venuti are well worth the price of entry but the best comment is attached to a picture of Dolly Parton in a lime-green jumpsuit (which also pops up in several other mags this week): "A picture tells a thousand words and in this case the word is 'tragedy'. It's Dolly Parton, who should be declared sartorially insane."