Dannii sat down on a box of remaindered lime-green jelly sandals and began removing up her makeup with practised skill. It was as she was wiping off her mascara that she became aware of a strange noise. Was that the sound of a burglar alarm? It sounded as if someone was robbing Sportsgirl!
"Danger threatens," she said to herself. "I must transform myself into Mighty Morphin' Dannii Minogue." Using her secret mystical powers and reciting the magic words 'This Is It' under her breath, she span around in circles and transformed herself into the vinyl-clad super-heroine.
In one swift movement, she leapt out of the miniscule changing room, completely destroyed a tasteful display of cork-heeled beige platforms and pounced into the store. A young hoodlum with a punk haircut was waving a syringe at a terrified checkout chick, while half-dressed shoppers stood bewildered and panicking. Dannii recognised him as 'Simon Syringe', a well-known thief who'd been responsible for several store robberies in the area. She instantly sprang into action.
Whacko! Kaboom! Her high-flying kick, enhanced during her contentious stint as the host of The Big Breakfast, soon left Simon impaled on his own syringe and with severe internal injuries. Pausing only to check that her hotpants hadn't become accidentally jammed in her butt cheeks, Dannii picked up the store phone and dialled the police.
The policeman blinked in amazement. He'd been waiting to catch 'Simon Syringe' for weeks, but had had no luck. Now the hysterical and anorexic Sportsgirl shop assistant was blurting out some tale about a mysterious woman in a vinyl bodysuit who had intervened just when things seemed helpless. It turned out that the syringe only contained red cordial, but even so it had lanced Syringe in the kidneys and he was unlikely to survive. Little did the policeman know Mighty Morphin' Dannii Minogue had saved the streets from crime once more.
Back in the changeroom, Dannii sighed contentedly. "Another Success!" she said to herself, as she continued washing off her makeup.
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