Dannii went into the backstage changing room where she'd fixed a foil star to the door and began removing her makeup. It was as she was sanding back her armpits with a Bamix that she was distracted by a noise. What was that strange noise coming from the quarters of the wardrobe mistress?
"Danger threatens," she said to herself. "I must transform myself into Mighty Morphin' Dannii Minogue." Using her secret mystical powers and reciting the magic words 'This Is It' under her breath, she span around in circles and transformed herself into the vinyl-clad super-heroine.
In one swift movement, she had raced through the door and into the corridor. A young nancy boy with a punk haircut was shamelessly rubbing his body down with the costumes for that evening's performance. Dannii recognised him as 'Costume Colin', a psycho who got off on frottage with theatrical costumes from flop musicals. Dannii instantly sprang into action.
Aruga! Carefully grabbing the sleeve of one of the costumes, Dannii twisted it repeatedly around the throat of the hapless pervert, a move which she'd also been known to use on Bert Newton more than once. As the hapless thief carked it from acute asphyxiation, Dannii raced back into the changing room.
"What the hell?" said the swiftly arriving stage manager, faced with the prospect of ditching a corpse before the curtain rose. Little did he know that Mighty Morphin' Dannii Minogue had saved the streets from crime once more.
Her task accomplished, Dannii sighed contentedly. "Another Success!" she said to herself, as she continued removing her makeup.
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