Dannii went into the somewhat insalubrious backstage changing room and began removing her makeup. It was as she was slathering on her secret mix of fish oil and monkey giblets that she was distracted by a noise. What was that strange noise coming from outside the door?
"Danger threatens," she said to herself. "I must transform myself into Mighty Morphin' Dannii Minogue." Using her secret mystical powers and reciting the magic words 'This Is It' under her breath, she span around in circles and transformed herself into the vinyl-clad super-heroine.
In one swift movement, she had raced through the door and into the corridor. A young harlot with a punk haircut was shamelessly pleasuring herself in full view of the cast and crew. Dannii recognised the depraved hussy as 'Masturbating Matilda', a psycho who had a small role as a tree in the final scenes of the production. Dannii instantly sprang into action.
Cwanga! A single kick to a highly sensitive exposed location, which Dannii herself had been known to expose in more than one raunchy calendar, forced Matila over the fine line between pleasure and pain. As she gasped in agony, Dannii raced back into the changing room.
"What the fuck was that?" said one of the scene-shifters, who'd been rather enjoying this unexpected moment of sexual hijinks. Little did anyone know that Mighty Morphin' Dannii Minogue had saved the streets from crime once more.
Her task accomplished, Dannii sighed contentedly. "Another Success!" she said to herself, as she continued removing her makeup.
Check out more Dannii adventures
Return to Gusworld Central