Media Release

Bill Gates calls for everyone to just fuck off

CEO is at the end of his tether.

Sydney, 17th April, 1997 -- Microsoft Corporation today announced CEO and chairman Bill Gates had expressed a wish for everyone to "just fuck right off and leave me alone, alright?"

Gates made the request after a particularly trying day in which he had been called upon to try and think of a name for the new version of Windows, code-named Memphis, as well as thinking of two new code names for other Microsoft products.

In addition, Gates had to make a keynote address at San Francisco's Geek 97 conference and work on an AskBill Column. "Jesus, it's more than anyone can be expected to fucking do," he said.

The final straw came when Sun CEO Scott McNealy made some disparaging comments about Gates and described Microsoft's version of Java as 'crap'. "I don't know why I fucking bother sometimes," whined Gates. "I wish McNealy would eat shit and die."

Gates then slammed his office door only to reappear several minutes later to pin a note that read "Get Fucked" on it.


Microsoft, Windows, the word 'fuck', the planet Earth and Windows NT are either registered trademarks or trademarks of Microsoft Corp. in the United States and/or other countries. Other product and company names herein may be trademarks of their respective owners.

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